Gove had the decency to stare Bojo in the eyes as he twisted the knife for the third time and whispered, “Bitch, you’re mine” in his ear.
Parliamentary Labour Party realised they’re not going to get elected with James May in charge. He’s nice as an uncle, but not sure I’d want him making any more serious decisions than whether to use the plastic or paper plates at Glastonbury.
Lib Dems found a reason to exist.
Heseltine isn’t dead and seems to be speaking sense.
Maggie Thatcher doesn’t seem to be dead either, although she appears to have morphed into a bit of a stand up comedian. The gag about the water cannon was hilarious.
Oh, Gove’s admitted he’s not got any charisma, which is kind of what you’d like in moderation in a leader. And he did everything he could not to stand as leader apart from not stand.
Cameron played a political blinder and shat on the leavers from a great height.
Farage had a moan about people not doing a day’s work in their lives without realising he hadn’t done a day’s work in the 18 years he’s been a member of the EU Parliament and ducked out of numerous meetings while still getting paid.
Apparently we’ll trade under WTO rules in the common market without freedom of movement but allowing everyone in on a points based system where the threshold is zero. And China doesn’t think we have the lawyers we need to negotiate a trade agreement.
Easyjet booked a cheap flight the hell outta here.
Mel Gibson is making a film called Braveheart 2, although Alex Salmond will get the standing ovation after delivering the “Do not abandon us” speech in a packed EU Parliament.
The pound dived or didn’t or recovered or whatever.
Bojo nearly cried on TV.
Nicola Sturgeon has been nominated as the next Queen.
If you’re a market trader in the city Mark Carney’s calm delivery made him your newest man crush.
And Farage, why are you here?